Okay - here goes! I am not a blogger. I have never been a blogger. I guess I just felt like it was time to make some major changes in my life and a blog would be a great way to track my progress. It hit me tonight. I finally got to that point - the point where everyone says they realize a change is needed. I have watched all but two seasons of the Biggest Loser and I will be the first to admit that I was the one on the couch that would eat ice cream or cake or whatever sweets happened to be in the house at the time. Tonight as I watched the season premier, there was a moment - THE MOMENT - that I realized I need to do something about my life, my health, my weight.

The contestants were puching a truck around campus and a song started to play in the background. It is a song that is on my IPod that I love and have heard a million times. This time, when Switchfoot belted out "I Dare You to Move", my entire body was covered in goosebumps and something deep within in me said, "You can do this, You need to do this."

I am pretty sure that I have Diabetes. If not, I am on the verge. My father passed away from complications of the disease and my mom was diagnosed a few years ago. I am cursed on both sides but I also have done nothing to prevent the disease from taking over my body. No more - it is time I take responsibilty and do something about it.

Tomorrow is my 33rd birthday. I can think of no better present to give myself than the gift of life. Changing my life and my habits will ultimately save my life. I never thought that I would take this journey in a public fashion and the truth is, I'm not sure if anyone will even read this, but this is something I feel I need to do. Not only will it serve as a journal where I will track my weight, my food choices, my fitness attempts and even my emotions and struggles, it will also serve as an accountability tool because if I think someone is following my progress, I will be harder on myself and really think about the choices I make before I make them.

This is a very personal struggle and one that I never thought I could share publicly, especially because of my weight. Hell, I don't even like to say my weight out loud let alone post it for the world to see. But I realize that my weight is a reality. It is something I have come to terms with and something I am determined to change. If my journey in anyway inspires someone else to do this, than I feel it is all worth it. If I gain a my own cheerleading squad because of this, than it will all be worth it. If nothing comes of this blog but my ability to share my journey, my struggles and my successes, than it will all be worth it!

Starting tomorrow, I will add a current picture of me with my current weight. I will also add a picture of my goal dress. A simple black dress that I have never been able to picture me wearing. I will begin Weight Watchers this Saturday along with one of my sisters. I am hoping it will give me the tools I need to understand the nutrition part of my lifestyle change. I am lucky enough to have access to a gym at my apartment. The sad thing is, I have lived here 7 months and have yet to step foot in there. That changes tomorrow. I will get up a half hour earlier and I will go to the gym. It will be the gift I give myself on the morning of my 33rd birthday. My 33rd birthday which will be the first day of the rest of my life. Thank you for following me on this journey.