Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Love and a Debbie Downer Kind of Day

So I feel like I need to explain something on my To Do list post from yesterday. A few people have sent me messages about #10. Now I just want to say that this list is things the new me wants to do. They are not all things that I am waiting for until I reach my goal weight. I of all people know that love happens whether you want it to or not. As those who know me well know, I am a hopeless romantic and I would very much love to find “the one”. With that being said, I am different now and my expectations have changed. I have been in love twice in my life. Both times, the feelings were not mutual. I always figured my weight had something to do with it because let’s be honest – physical attraction is an important aspect of falling in love. Both of these men are great guys and one knew how I felt because I told him. The other probably knew but I never confirmed it for fear of rejection. Both of these men are still in my life and I am happy to have them as friends. I just figured I wasn’t good enough for either of them. The truth is I didn’t love myself so how could I expect anyone to love me in return. The new me feels different. The new me wants the fairy tale. The new me believes I deserve to be loved as much as I love and I will not settle for less. So, putting that on my list just means that I am starting to love myself so I think I will be ready to not only love someone fully but to be loved in return.

Last night was great. I walked 30 minutes at a 3.0 on the treadmill. I also did short intervals where I would kick it up to 3.5 for 30 seconds or a minute. I felt great afterward and was very proud of myself. I was also very proud of my mom who walked for a half hour as well. She went much slower but this was her first time on a treadmill! She will be 70 in February and has Diabetes so she will benefit from this as well. I am looking forward to our trip to Savannah, GA in about a month. I read that Savannah is a very “pedestrian friendly” city and want to be able to walk around and enjoy it. I told my mom that we need to keep working on our walking so we are ready for vacation. The more strength we build up, the more we will be able to enjoy. There is a light house too that I would like to visit while in GA. There are 178 steps to the top and I plan on making it up there, despite my fear of heights! So I am keeping that trip in my head as I workout and build my strength and endurance.

Now on to my day today. Today has probably been the worst so far. I did something this morning I wasn’t going to and it was very discouraging. I chose to step on the scale because it had been one week since my birthday and the start of my journey. I was so confident because I have worked out, followed my points and felt so good. I was heartbroken to read that the scale said I had only lost 0.8 pounds! I know my official WW weigh in is still a few days away but my hopes have been dashed for a great number. This is just a stumbling block and I will not give up as I have in the past. I will continue on because it is better for me and it makes me feel good.

I woke up with a very sore neck. I am have a hard time turning my head to the right without some major pain. This has caused a headache and on top of everything, it just kind of sucks! I assure you though that I am still on track and have no intentions of derailing any time soon. If I ever get to that point, I will reach out for help and support because I know I have so much of it out there!!

Have a Healthy Day (no matter how crappy it is)!!


1 comment:

  1. You are sooo right! You have to love yourself and be confident in who you are - that's the first step and you are on the road to getting there! Keep up the good work - you are an inspiration!!